Race Report from the 8/5/04 Club Championship Crit
by Will McLaughlin

Man, it's only Thursday. I was feeling pretty chipper last week, downright antsy, until Sunday but now I've got this blah feeling that I just can't shake. I'll feel better if I just get off my ass, get out of my apartment, and hang out with the Wheelmen. I'm in a downtube shifter mood today. Pink bike it is. Dammit, I still haven't adjusted the saddle height for my new shoes. Go by feel and adjust as I go I guess. The drive isn't too bad as long as I take Central to the freeway. "What's my drug of choice? Well what have you got? I don't go broke..." S#%$! A F***ing jam on SB 475!. Way to pay more attention to heroin addiction music than to what's going on in the real world. Idiot. Doesn't look too bad; the accident is on the NB side I guess. Sucks to be going north today. Where was I? Oh yes, "From the darkest hole you'd be well advised..." What's this? New rules for course marshaling? Good! Good think I brought my prison uniform last week. Yes, I brought my helmet! It's in the car! Shoes are working OK, but my old inserts don't fit. Dammit, this feels strange. "Adam, do you have a 5mm?....Thanks....May I use it?" Gotta push saddle forward and raise a couple mm. Good thing I've found the 4mm as well. Why am I here? To counterattack. I don't care where I place as long as I finish and keep the race from getting too slow. It's supposed to be a race, right? Nice tempo for starters. Here we go. I've already got 100 yds on the field. I'll never make it. That's not the point. Man this feels weird. This headwind is irritating the hell out of me. I've been pegged, and they're not letting me go; slow down and ride a tempo until I get caught. This doesn't feel right. My saddle is too high and I'm hyperextending. A Prime??? Shit. Give it a go, I guess. DON'T LOOK BACK, YOU MORON! Go for it! Dammit, Jason pipped me on the line. Way to do it half-hearted just like the rest of your life, loser. I wanna quit. Go home. Crawl under my rock. Stop it! Just peel off and fix your saddle height, OK? Come on Come on. Come around me, I've got to pull off. Good thing I left Adam's wrench on The Wedge's bumper. 2mm down. Keep fore/aft. Should I take a free lap? Nope, not a mechanical. They've got over 30 sec on me and I only see stragglers. Just keep hammering for another lap or two then wait. Yes, that feels much better. The arch support is still a little high, though. "It wasn't a mechanical!!" What the hell are you trying to pull? Who the F*** do you think you are? Trying to catch up. My ass. This may not be as fast as Jackson or Major Taylor, but you're alone and you s-u-c-k. I don't care where I finish. Could've lied, fool. Here they come. I guess I'll just pedal to the finish. What? $30 for the winds? What do they mean, 'winds'? Women? The win? $100? Nothing's getting away now. Not that I'd do anything about it; I've been lapped. Looks like a couple guys are away. Not anymore. That was a little too hard. Pay attention, dammit! You're not helping youself or anyone behid you by spinning that fast! Put some power into it, dammit! Get out of the way! Pay attention, huh? Don't let gaps open like that. I should go elsewhere, but I've got nowhere to go. 5 to go. 4 to go. $100, eh? It's not like you could've pulled it off...'cause you can't sprint to save your life. And you suck, too. For a wind-up, this is pretty tame. You need more people to set a faster tempo, people! Cause now it's so slow everyone thinks they've got a chance. Guess that's what happens when money's involved. Didn't Chaucer write something about greed and the love of money being the root of all evil? There's Regan. Stay on Adam's wheel. For practice. Dammit. Found it again. Here we go. Watch where you're going!! Still on the wheel. Not anymore. Watch where you're going, Hal! Not that I have any right to complain. Last corner. Sh**, I'm already 15 men back. Sh**. All over. Can't even sprint out of a paper bag. I could lose a V race without even trying. Couple of strokes. Sit up. It's over. You're a lap down, anyway. There goes Kistler. Who won? Dunno. Why bother lining up. Funny. No point even bothering to go to Ada feeling like this. Oh well. I crawled out of my hole for a while, anyway. My head's just not in it right now. I'll stop for a beer then crawl back under my rock. Back to the mines tomorrow morning. Will